A few things before it starts - I'm going to be done with this series at 14. I may come back to it at some point, but I really want to focus on other stuff right now, and two more episodes will give me time to make a semi-closure on the whole thing. I'll try to get the other two done in reasonable time.
Scene1 (Ess and Caelyn’s apartment) (Alec is waiting at the door, Caelyn is on the couch watching TV, and Ess is getting ready to go)
Alec: Why are people so completely and utterly stupid?
Ess: They aren't and you're just a jerk?
Alec: No, but good guess.
Caelyn: What's wrong?
Alec: What?
Caelyn: What happened?
Alec: Nothing happened.
Caelyn: Then why are you-
Alec: Nothing happened. I'm just lamenting the way of things. Are you ready yet?
Ess: No.
Alec: She's like a... help me out here.
Caelyn: Woman?
Alec: Yeah.
Caelyn: Where are you taking her?
Alec: It's a surprise.
Caelyn: For me?
Alec: No.
Caelyn: Where are you taking her?
Alec: See, you act all trustworthy and cute and everything, but as soon as I tell you, you'll hold it over me in return for some nefarious favor.
Caelyn: First of all... okay, yeah.
Alec: Just sit down and watch your stories.
Caelyn: It's the football game, Alec.
Alec: Nefarious!
Ess: What's going on?
Caelyn: Not much. Your boyfriend is a psychopath.
Ess: Again?
Alec: Are you ready yet?
Ess: No.
Alec: No. Of course not. (muttering) It's only time to go, why would you be ready? I loooove standing here, shooting the breeze with the roommate from Hades.
Caelyn: I'm sitting right here.
Alec: Or so it seems.
Ess: What’s Josh doing for Thanksgiving?
Alec: What?
Ess: I said-
Alec: How should I know? I'm stuck in here... waiting for the Danaids to fill the tub.
Ess: As cute as I find your references to, you know, stupid things, it doesn’t make me go any faster.
Alec: Fine.
Ess: Really, it doesn’t.
Alec: Ess, I’m standing in the door. Been here for a good ten minutes.
Ess: And you look so handsome. Doesn’t he look handsome?
Caelyn: Meh.
Ess: Caelyn.
Caelyn (without any sincerity): Yes! Yes, he looks so handsome that when I look at him I get weak in the knees.
Alec: Caelyn, I… I didn’t know.
Caelyn: Shut up.
Ess: You ready?
Alec: Yeah. (beat) No. I gotta use the bathroom.
Fade out. Shift.
ADTEO.
Ess: Joshua!
Josh: Esther.
Ess: I have a great idea.
Josh: Yeah?
Ess: Yeah. It’s one of those ideas that when you have it, you just know.
Josh: You know you’ve had an idea?
Ess: No, that it’s great.
Josh: Okay.
Ess: Of course you know you had an idea.
Josh: Sure.
Ess: You want to hear it?
Josh: Boy, do I ever.
Ess: Don’t be like that.
Josh: Okay.
Ess: I think that you… should come over to my uncle’s for Thanksgiving.
Josh: Really?
Ess: Yeah.
Josh: I don’t know; I mean, I like your uncle and everything, but that could get awkward.
Ess: That’s where we’re having our get-together.
Josh: That was your great idea?
Ess: What’s wrong with it?
Josh: Nothing’s wrong with it. It’s great.
Ess: It is.
Josh: It’s one of those ideas that has a lot of potential.
Ess (sighs): But?
Josh: It kind of bites.
Ess: Josh.
Josh: Ess, we go through this every year.
Ess: Because you insist on being a self-absorbed idiot.
Josh: Yeah, that’s basically my persona.
Ess: Josh.
Josh: Ess, don’t worry about it. I’m looking forward to the day off.
Ess: So you can sit home alone watching a sport you don’t understand?
Josh: Don’t put Alec’s inadequacies on me. I know what the blue zone is.
Ess: Red zone?
Josh: That was a joke.
Ess: I don’t like you doing this to yourself, Josh.
Josh: Making bad jokes?
Ess: That and this other thing.
Josh: I know, but you should stop worrying about it. It’s not a bad day for me.
Ess: Josh.
Josh: It’s a bad day, but being around someone else’s family isn’t going to make it any easier.
Ess: I think it might.
Josh (smiles softly): You are a good friend, Hadassah. But Thanksgiving isn’t Thanksgiving without turkey, and I’m pretty sure that’s not all that Kosher.
Ess: You’re turning me down based on my Judaism?
Josh: Not so much yours as your uncle’s.
Ess: Like you’re going to cook yourself a turkey.
Josh: Two-minute microwave special.
Ess (shudders): That’s disgusting.
Josh: I wouldn’t be adverse to a pie, though, should you feel sufficiently guilty-
Ess: You’re pathetic.
Josh: Yeah.
Ess: You sure you won’t come?
Josh: Thanks anyway.
Ess (sighs): Okay. I’m going over to the lab.
Josh: Don’t blow anything up, Wyle E.
Ess: Shut up.
Josh: And I don’t care how good those batman wings look, we’re not buying them.
Shift.
Luke: I don’t get it.
Alec: Don’t get what?
Luke: Any of this.
Caelyn: Well, yeah. You’re family wasn’t killed.
Luke: Fair enough. I’m just saying, if he wants to spend time with someone, wouldn’t he just say yes?
Alec: Yeah.
Luke: So?
Alec: So, what?
Luke: Why are you stressing about it?
Alec: Because it’s not good for him.
Caelyn: It makes me sad.
Alec: And it makes Caelyn sad.
Caelyn: Shut up.
Luke: I think you’re making something out of nothing.
Caelyn: That’s ‘cause you’re a guy.
Luke: So is Josh.
Alec: I am, t-
Caelyn: I’m going to go talk to him.
Alec: Okay.
Caelyn exits.
Luke: I don’t get it.
Alec: Yeah, me neither. Ess swears it’s a big deal.
Luke (beat): So that was all an act?
Alec: Man, I’m telling you, those two repeat conversations word for word. This will get back to her.
Luke (nods approvingly): Well-played.
Shift
Gerrard: A broiled turkey with [ ] sauce lightly sprinkled on top, lemon-peppered goose, stuffed with garlic bread, and a perfectly aged wine that I’ve been saving for more years than I’d like to admit.
Melanie: Sounds wonderful.
Gerrard: That’s only the first course. We then follow up this nirvana of the sense of taste with homemade rice pudding, and delicate au gratin potato dish, coupled with a singed bean casserole of finest quality.
Melanie: I’m giddy. I’m sitting here, shuddering in anticipation. My hands have goose-bumps.
Gerrard: I haven’t even made it to dessert, yet. But, ah yes, that will remain a secret, to better tantalize the fantasy of the mind.
Melanie: You sure your family won’t mind?
Gerrard: Of course they won’t mind.
Melanie: Okay. Okay, I will see you then.
Gerrard: You make me very happy.
Melanie: I know the feeling.
Gerrard (hangs up): Janie!
Janie (enters): Hey.
Gerrard: Get me the U.S. ambassador to Argentina.
Janie: Okay. Business call?
Gerrard: Yeah.
Janie: It’ll just be a minute.
Shift.
Josh: Hey.
Alec: Hey, Ess is looking for you.
Josh: She found me.
Alec: Yeah, sorry about that.
Josh: Don’t be. So you’re going back to meet the family?
Alec: Yeah.
Josh: That’s a bold move.
Alec: What-Why do you say that?
Josh: Well, you’re neither Jewish nor, you know, an adequate human being.
Alec: Ah, that.
Josh: Yeah.
Alec: Think they’ll notice?
Josh: Hey, I want you to know… I’m really happy for you guys.
Alec (slight beat, nods): I appreciate that.
Josh: I’m also happy that you’re going to be stuck in awkward family meetings while I’m eating microwave turkey and watching football.
Alec: Can’t fault you there.
Josh: I remember when I met Amy’s family. Now there’s a social experiment.
Alec: Ess tells me they aren’t that bad.
Josh: Yeah, that probably means you shouldn’t eat the Jell-O.
Alec: Okay.
Josh: If someone offers to buy you a goldfish, don’t say yes.
Alec: What are you talking about?
Josh: Trust me, I have some experience with this stuff.
Alec: Yeah, but your girl didn’t marry you.
Josh: Don’t underestimate the importance of wooing the aunts. I swear, you tick any one of them off and they’ll form a coven to hex you.
Alec: You aren’t scaring me, Josh.
Josh: You say that, but as soon as you see an unwashed cauldron, my words will be refreshed, and then… you will know fear. (beat) Also, beware anyone with a tattoo of the lynx.
Alec: I’m going to my desk now.
Josh: I’m going to get a sandwich.
Fade out.
Scene 2. (Gerrard’s office)
Gerrard: Luke. You ever been to Argentina?
Luke: I don’t think so.
Gerrard: Ah, then today is your lucky day.
Luke: You’re sending me to Argentina?
Gerrard: You, Ess, Sonny, Cher. The works.
Luke: Okay.
Gerrard: What can I do for you?
Luke: I need to transfer.
Gerrard: I’m sorry?
Luke: I’m… I’m getting married.
Gerrard (grins): That’s great, Luke.
Luke: It is. It really is. Except I can’t keep working here.
Gerrard (beat): I see.
Luke: It’s not me on this one, boss.
Gerrard: No, you don’t have to exp- this isn’t the first time I’ve seen it. She’s worried about you.
Luke: I was hoping I could get transferred to a desk job, somewhere in the company.
Gerrard (slight beat): Luke, you know I’ll do what I can to keep you around, but I don’t think there’s anyway we’ll be able to fit you in Sierra if you’re not field specced.
Luke: No, I know. I- (sighs) I understand that my time in Sierra is over.
Gerrard (beat): Okay. Okay, let’s see what we can find you, then.
Shift.
Caelyn: Where have you been?
Josh: Talking with Whacky Walter.
Caelyn: You know someone named Whacky Walter?
Josh: That's not his name, it's just what we call him.
Caelyn: What's his name?
Josh: What?
Caelyn: What's his real name?
Josh: Why do you possibly care?
Caelyn: I'm nosey.
Josh: Robert Green.
Caelyn: His name is Robert Green.
Josh: Yeah.
Caelyn: You call him Whacky Walter.
Josh: He's insane, and he looks like Gary Burghoff.
Caelyn (laughs): Okay. Why did you go to see him?
Josh: You writing a book?
Caelyn: I'm taking interest, Josh. It's not a vice.
Josh: Actually, I'm pretty sure it is.
Caelyn: It's wrong to care?
Josh: You're a gossip, a busybody.
Caelyn: I am not, and you're a curmudgeon.
Josh: Okay.
Caelyn: Whacky Walter.
Josh (shrugs): I don’t know. It’s cheaper than movie tickets.
Caelyn: Much like your sense of fashion.
Josh: What does that mean?
Caelyn: Nothing. Nice sneakers.
Josh: Don't you have a report to neglect to file?
Caelyn: Don't you have to act like a meshuginah?
Josh: A what?
Caelyn: Ess is teaching me the Yiddish.
Josh: She's teaching you Yiddish?
Caelyn: She is.
Josh: And she started with meshuginah?
Caelyn: She said it's one of the better ones.
Josh: Schmendrick.
Caelyn: Funny.
Josh: I've noticed you hardly ever laugh when you say that.
Caelyn: Nothing gets by you, Josh.
Josh: Sometimes it's a burden.
Caelyn: Ess told me about your Anthropophobia.
Josh: That’s a fear of society.
Caelyn: Yes.
Josh: I don’t fear society.
Caelyn: I think you do.
Josh: Well, I think you said the wrong word.
Caelyn: Caligynephobia.
Josh: That’s fear of-
Caelyn: Pretty girls.
Josh: Yes, and I think it’s quite clear I’m not suffering from that.
Caelyn: You should come over to my mom’s for our Thanksgiving. Gerrard will be there.
Josh: Ah.
Caelyn: Don’t do that.
Josh: Do what?
Caelyn: Don’t say “ah” like- like- like, “Ah, you’re as loony as Ess.”
Josh (laughs): Okay.
Caelyn: We’re worried about you.
Josh: Well, you’re both girls.
Caelyn: Gotta get up pretty early to pull one over you, eh Josh?
Josh: Okay.
Caelyn: You’re a testament to your kind.
Josh: Baptists?
Caelyn: Men.
Josh: Thanks.
Caelyn: You should come over for Thanksgiving.
Josh: No.
Caelyn: Why not?
Josh: Because for some reason, there has not yet been a Thanksgiving where I’m in the mood to see someone else enjoying the benefits of still having their family.
Caelyn (beat): I’m sorry.
Josh: Don’t be.
Caelyn: That makes me sad, Josh.
Josh (laughs softly): Don’t be.
Caelyn: It’s too late. You made me sad. Now I’m sad, and it’s your fault.
Josh: Caelyn.
Caelyn: I’m over here being sad. I hope you know that.
Josh: Okay, but you need to work on your guilting.
Caelyn: I guilt just fine, thank you. I can’t help it if you have a heart of stone.
Josh (laughs): Whatever.
Caelyn: This isn’t finished.
Josh: Fantastic.
Caelyn: Yes.
Josh: Look, it’s not that I’m not thankful that you care. I really am. It’s just… it’s a lot easier if Thanksgiving isn’t anything more than a day off, you know? (slight beat) I can handle that.
Caelyn (beat/ slightly sad): Okay. Okay, well, then I’ll leave you alone about it.
Josh: Thank you.
Caelyn: But if you change your mind-
Josh: Then I’ll bring a casserole.
Caelyn (smiles): Yeah.
Shift.
Caelyn: Hey, how'd it go?
Ess: That depends. Do we like our weapons to actually function, or is our grading system entirely based on technical jargon-filled names?
Caelyn (beat): Am I supposed to answer-
Ess: The Alpha 99 Photon Converter. I'm not joking. How is a photon converter supposed to- you know what, forget it.
Caelyn: Was there, by any chance, an Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?
Ess: More with the snark today, eh?
Caelyn: It’s that kind of day.
Ess: Mess after mess. I like creativity, you know? I do.
Caelyn: Sure.
Ess: But this as a quagmire of incompetence. I really don't know what we're paying these people for.
Caelyn: Something about cheese, I hear.
Ess: One of these days- I swear, one of these days we'll be out there in danger and our guns are going to melt in our hands.
Caelyn: A disintegrating disintegrator.
Ess (sighs): Thank you, Chuck Jones. Both you and Poindexter over there-
Caelyn: Josh said no.
Ess: About Thanksgiving?
Caelyn: Yeah.
Ess: He said 'no?'
Caelyn: He said it's easier if days like that don't mean anything.
Ess: Yeah, I suppose it would, if that worked.
Caelyn: What do I do?
Ess: You're asking me?
Caelyn: Yeah.
Ess: On how to cure Josh of the holiday blues?
Caelyn: Yeah.
Ess: I can't say for certain, but your Daffy Duck impression might do the trick.
Caelyn: I see you have some snark yourself.
Ess: You really should have seen some of the trash they had.
Caelyn: And who doesn't enjoying looking at that?
Ess: I have to go find my boyfriend.
Caelyn: I have to go find a bagel.
Shift.
Josh (exits Gerrard’s office): We’re going to Argentina.
Ess: Are you serious?
Josh: Yeah, but it’s okay if you want to laugh at Argentina. I always do.
Alec: Argentina?
Josh: Yeah.
Alec: Like the musical?
Josh: You mean Oklahoma! ?
Luke: Don’t cry for me Oklahoma?
Josh: The British and the Spanish should be friends.
Luke: It’s also, you know, a country.
Ess: We figured.
Josh: With banana exports.
Alec: Seafood delicacies.
Josh: Troubadours.
Alec: Funny dances.
Josh: Child labor.
Alec: Cannibalism.
Caelyn: You guys know nothing about Argentina, do you?
Josh (beat): I know there was a musical.
Alec: Argentina, where the wind comes sweeping ‘cross the plains.
Luke: Josh, can we talk?
Josh: Yeah, sure.
Fade out.
Scene 3.
Josh: Are you sure you know what you’re doing?
Luke: Yeah.
Josh: I mean, giving this up for her. You sure she’s the right one?
Luke (beat): I appreciate the concern, but I’m sure.
Josh: Okay. Well… okay. I will make the necessary calls. You’ll go to Argentina with us?
Luke: Of course.
Josh: I only ask because if this were a movie, you’d pretty much be going to you’re grave.
Luke: The thought crossed my mind.
Josh: Last mission before a lifetime of wedded bliss. I mean, you’re wrecked.
Luke: At least I’m out of expendable crewman status.
Josh: No, now you’re endearing and likable with a bright future.
Luke (beat as he considers this): Yeah.
Josh (beat/ speaks in a spooky voice): Argentiiiiiiiiiinaaaaaa.
Luke laughs.
Josh: I’m kidding. This is routine.
Luke: Sure.
Josh (sighs): You know this bites.
Luke: It does.
Josh: It really does.
Luke: What are you going to do, though?
Josh: Yeah. You want to go tell the others?
Luke (laughs slightly): Not really.
Josh (grins): Yeah.
Luke: You know they’re all freaking out about how you don’t have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving.
Josh: Yeah, what’s up with that? Every year, too.
Luke: I’m not going to insult you by joining in.
Josh: I appreciate it.
Luke: But you know you’re welcome to come-
Josh (snickers): Get out of here.
Luke (laughs): Thanks, boss.
Shift. (Ess’ apartment)
Ess: I can’t believe Luke’s leaving.
Alec: On to better things, I guess.
Ess: I’m not going to make you quit.
Alec: Good.
Ess: I’m saying when we get married, I won’t make you quit.
Alec: ‘kay, ‘cause I wasn’t planning on it.
Ess: When we get married.
Alec: You know, it stops being a subtle hint when you say it three times.
Ess: Didn’t seem like you were getting it.
Alec: I was.
Ess: Didn’t seem like it.
Alec: I… still was.
Ess: Okay, I’ll drop it.
Alec: Thank you.
Ess (beat): How many kids do you think we should have?
Alec: That’s cute.
Ess: I’m adorable.
Alec: Yeah, you’re something.
Ess: I’m thinking we move out of the city limits. Make the commute to work painful, but then Rosie, Charlie, and Bethany will have an actual yard to play in.
Alec: We’re not naming any of them Rosie.
Ess: What’s wrong with Rosie, and that counts as consent for Charlie and Bethany.
Alec (beat): I- Rosie is Sam’s wife from Lord of the Rings.
Ess (beat): Okay. And why is that-
Alec: ‘Cause she’s a hobbit.
Ess: Okay. (beat) You realize our daughter wouldn’t be a hobbit just because we name her-
Alec: Yeah, Ess.
Ess: Because you seemed a little uncertain as to how that works.
Alec: Well, you’ve cleared it up for me.
Ess (smiles): Very wifely of me, yes?
Alec: I have to tell you, loving the pressure.
Ess (giggles): I know. I’m excited. Luke’s getting married, and you know what that does to us womenfolk.
Alec: Releases the crazy.
Ess: Something like that.
Alec: You know you told me I need to talk with your father?
Ess: But when will you have an opportunity-, oh wait, you will actually see him on Thursday. Well, funny how these things work out.
Alec: Yeah, I already did.
Ess: What?
Alec (grins): I already asked him.
Ess: Wait, you- you asked him if you could-?
Alec: He said yes.
Ess: You actually- Alec, are you teasing me right now, because this isn’t funny-
Alec (laughs): I’m not teasing you, Ess. (beat) So, I just have one more question for you.
Shift. (they both speak very quickly in this section)
Caelyn: He proposed!?
Ess: He did.
Caelyn: Oh, Ess! (they both squeal, and hug, etc.) (after a few moments) Does Josh know?
Ess: Alec’s telling him.
Caelyn: This is wonderful. I’m so happy for you guys!
Ess: Me too! (hug and all that again)
Caelyn: Did you guys set a date?
Ess: February 18th.
Caelyn: February 18th. That’s not very long.
Ess: I know. Can you help me?
Caelyn: Of course I can. My hands are shaking. This is so exciting. I feel like I’m talking too much. Am I talking too much?
Ess: No. I need to go find Gerrard. Come with me.
Caelyn: You want me to come?
Ess: Yeah, come on.
Shift.
Josh: You know… I take credit for this.
Alec: You would.
Josh: I think it’s deserved.
Alec: I admit that you played a minor role.
Josh: Minor role? I was campaign manager. I called the shots, wrote the strategy. And I only bring it up so you don’t get upset when I neglect to buy you a wedding gift.
Alec: Okay, well I agree that your advice was worth approximately a toaster.
Josh: That’s all I’m saying.
Alec: I hear Ess has recruited Caelyn to the Josh’s Thanksgiving team.
Josh (breathes a laugh): Yeah. They really don’t get it.
Alec: Yeah, I know. Probably because it’s crap. (they look at each other for a beat / Alec grins slightly) Go buy a casserole, Josh. (exits)
Shift (transport plane)
Alec: Well, you lived.
Luke: Despite your best efforts, yeah.
Alec: I apologized like three times already.
Caelyn: You guys are all getting married. I feel like a spinster.
Josh: I feel you’re a spinster, too.
Alec: Yeah, I keep telling Ess, “You know Caelyn? Total spinster.”
Ess: Hey, you know what? Josh isn’t married.
Josh (beat): Subtle.
Alec: She’s taking a more direct approach now days.
Caelyn: Yeah, but Josh isn’t “ready.”
Josh: What is that supposed to mean?
Caelyn: I don’t know, you’re the one who says it.
Josh: You say it too.
Caelyn: Well if you’re going to twist my words.
Ess: Aren’t they cute together?
Luke: I am so going to miss this.
Ess: We’re going to miss you too, Luke.
Shift.
Mrs. Heaton’s house. (Caelyn, Gerrard, Melanie, Caelyn’s mom, various other relatives)
Mom: You do realize-
Gerrard: Becky.
Mom (grinning): You do realize that he’s almost eighty-years old. He has a walker in his closet.
Melanie (laughs): I’m old too.
Mom: You can’t be a day over twenty-eight.
Melanie (laughs again): I’m forty-four.
Caelyn: Mom, Aunt Laura wants to know if there’s peanuts in the salad.
Mom: Tell her yes, because after fifty years- you know what, I’ll be right back. (exits)
Gerrard: Sisters.
Melanie: I know, I have some.
Gerrard: Really?
Melanie: What about you, Caelyn? No siblings?
Caelyn: No, but it’s probably a good thing. I’m quite needy.
Gerrard: Needs a man.
Caelyn: Don’t- (quietly) don’t say that when my mom is around. She gets started and we’ll all be sorry.
Melanie: This is fun. Thank you, you know, for inviting me.
Gerrard: I’m glad you came.
Caelyn: I’m going to go check of the goose.
(doorbell rings)
Mom: I’ll get it. (opens door)
Josh: Hello, Mrs. Heaton.
Mom: Joshua, I’m so glad you came. Oh, Caelyn will be so pleased.
Josh: I brought a casserole.
Mom: Well, you’re mother must be so proud of you.
Josh: I hope so.
Mom: Well, come in.
Josh: Thank you.
Mom: You know, Caelyn really likes you.
Josh: Really?
Mom: You’ve made things so much easier for her. I want you to know it means a lot to me.
Josh: I really like her too.
Mom (grins): Caelyn!
Caelyn: The goose is- Josh! (hugs him) You came.
Josh: I did.
Caelyn: Got over yourself, did you?
Josh: Alec threatened to beat me up.
Caelyn: I’d pay money to see that.
Josh: You’d pay money for bottled water, so-
Mom: He brought a casserole.
Caelyn: How thoughtful.
Mom: Isn’t it? Such a nice young man.
Josh: You’re mom likes me.
Caelyn: She’s going senile.
Mom: A shame, isn’t it? And I don’t even have grandchildren yet.
Caelyn: Nice, mom.
Gerrard: Josh?
Josh: Gerrard. Hey, Melanie.
Melanie: How are you, Joshua?
Josh: Good. It’s nice to see you again.
Gerrard: She came for the goose.
Melanie: It’s true.
Gerrard: I told her about the potatoes, and the turkey, but it was the goose that did it.
Caelyn: Josh came because he’s pusillanimous.
Josh: Pusillanimous?
Caelyn: It means-
Josh: I know what it means, and, unlike you, I can spell it too.
Caelyn: I can spell it.
Josh: Pusillanimous?
Caelyn: No.
Josh: Okay.
Mom: Okay, everyone find a spot, before it gets cold!
Josh: Are you sure there’s room for me?
Caelyn: If not, there’s a dog house in the back.
Josh: Won’t the dog mind?
Caelyn: Doesn’t usually.
Mom: Everyone, we have some guests with us today. This is Melanie, a friend of Gerrard’s. And this is Joshua, Caelyn’s friend.
Gerrard: About time.
Everyone laughs and cheers.
Caelyn: Not like that.
Mom: Well, we’re hoping. Be patient with her, Josh.
Josh: Yes, ma’am.
Caelyn rolls her eyes.
Mom: Okay, now we’re setting the meats over on the end, so remember that when you’re filling your plates.
Gerrard: Microwave turkey, Josh?
Josh: Yeah, I’m… kind of an idiot.
Caelyn: I’ll say.
Josh: You do. Quite often, in fact.
Caelyn: It’s a vice.
Josh: You have a lot of those.
Fade out. End Scene 3.
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